echoing whispers

I sit in the quiet

Basking in the stillness that is this very moment

My mind wonders

Creating visions of a false reality

A reality that can no longer exist

I sit mourning the loss

Knowing that the world we once knew will no longer be

Acknowledging that no matter how hard we try, we can't separate ourselves from the varying levels of the trauma we’ve endured

Etched in our hearts, absorbed in our memories

Bargaining with this idea that if only and but when — things will feel normal again

Well aware that normal will never again be what it once was

I sit — tired of justifying my fears, my choices

Every ounce of me having to repeat myself time and time again

I sit — alone, isolated, in this stage of grief

Watching the world as it continues spinning

— wondering, waiting, to feel ready to brave it once again

The unspoken knowing that so much isn’t working

The frustration that any semblance of guidance seems a thing of the past

Whispers that maybe we’re all feeling lost but no one wants to say so first

So today I’m showing up and I’m saying it…

Deep down it’s been known that normal right now is unpredictable

And as we sit in a very familiar place it’s accepting that to be the heavy truth

It’s no longer denying that while this is here to stay in some capacity, so much remains unknown

It’s understanding that it will imprint on each of our lives in wildly different ways

It’s being okay saying no, with taking a step back, with creating new boundaries

It’s patience and empathy

— supporting and loving one one another

It's taking pleasure in the small joys and newfound passions

It’s continuing to meet people where they are…as they are, not with judgement but open arms

I sit and mourn the loss of the world I knew, the world I envisioned 

While in the same moment

Embracing the world as it is and all that it can be...